The Ignored Incunabulum's of Freedom.

Day Five.

Everyday I like to think it gets easier,

but I just can't stop worrying about you.

This is one of those things where you have to put yourself aside and 

think this is what's best.

I brought this on myself.

You were my prisoner, and I was your bodyguard,

Like a mother unwillingly to let go.

I thought the cage was your safe haven,

But it was a prison in hell.

I try to forget about you,

After eleven years...

Eleven Years.
Eleven, not the best, years.
Two-four of those years you spent in the basement.
In the dark.
But it wasn't my fault!
People still think I'm two and they can fool me with their lies.
"Your father is allergic to feathers".
"Fuck you".

We grew up together.

Even though, the time we brought you home was a bit fuzzy,

I loved you from the moment I saw you.

We would play for countless hours and you would fly around the house, and I would chase you.

Stop Crying.

We even made up this game where we would stare at each other and I would mimic when you would blink.

There was a point, where you would start winking and I knew you liked to play.

You always won.

I never won once.

I can hear you everywhere.

I'm starting to think I'm going a bit crazy.

I hear you in the kitchen, outside, even in the movie theatre.

I know your exact tone, I listen for it.

This morning I thought I heard you outside so I stuck my head out the window and I was positive it was you.

Then, after I left infatuation town, I realized it was just crickets.


I walked into the backyard yesterday,
I put up a bird feeder in hopes you would come back.
When I turned to go back inside, I saw your empty cage.
It seems so lifeless now that there is nothing to fill it.
It, also, seems sad.
It hasn't been empty in eleven years.
I just imagined how you got out and what you did.
You opened the door with your beak,
and you peaked your head out.
It took you five minutes to leave the security fortress because you were scared.
Then you took the plunge and jumped out.
You climbed to the top of the cage, 
Beak to metal, every pull is a celebration, flapping your wings as fast as your heart beat.
Molly follows your footsteps after another five minutes,
scared and confused, but she trusts and loves you.
After she is out, she joins you at the top.
Next to fly to the chair.
Molly doesn't follow.
You go back for her.
Then, you fly to the fence.
She follows.
After that, I'm guessing you fly as fast and as far away as you can from this house of fucking death dreams.

I miss you so much.

This is your destiny, to be free.

I am truly happy for you. 

Even though, I never got to say goodbye,

Even though, I didn't wish you good luck.

Send me a postcard.

Everyday, I think about you,

Where are you?

What are you doing?

Are you and Molly still together?

Do you need help?

Are you stuck?

Do you need bus money?

I even go so far as to check the weather, praying, Praying that it will be sunny and you will be okay.

It rained hard last night,

and it thunder stormed.

Are you okay?

Are you watching me?

Do you ever think about me?

Do you hate me?

My heart oozed out my toenails on Thursday.

When I saw that empty cage...

I'm Sorry.

I'm sorry I didn't take you out of the cage more.

I'm sorry I didn't pet you more.

I'm sorry I didn't love you more.

I'm sorry I ignored you.

I'm sorry I didn't let you fly.

I'm sorry I killed your first wife.

I'm sorry I took your only child away from you.

I'm sorry you have high cholesterol.

I'm sorry you have cancer.

I'm sorry I am a terrible person.

I'm sorry for everything I did to you.

I can't stop fucking thinking about you.

Fly free.

I will never see you again.

I hope you and Molly are very happy,

I wish to be like you one day.

One day, I will win that last game.